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    1

    Triple Click & Copy the code below ⬇

    2

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    length 2

    =

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    import

    export

    看的时候,被抓腐一律不负责!!!

    此生不悔入MC,来世还做方块人

    QwQ

    初级挑战:你能数出这幅图有几个循环吗?

    超级挑战:你能数出这里有几个球吗?

    ip签名档论坛签名图片显示ip地址操作系统浏览器等信息

    ip签名档论坛签名图片显示ip地址操作系统浏览器等信息

    image

    image

    2023tyoi0352

    bfs走迷宫(更实用)

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    int n,m;
    int dir[4][2]= {1,0,0,1,-1,0,0,-1};
    char a[105][105];
    bool visit[105][105];
    struct gz
    {
    	int x,y;
    	int len;
    };
    void bfs(int x,int y)
    {
    	//队列里面一般只看 队头队尾
    	queue<gz>q;
    	gz start;
    //	start.x=1;start.y=1;start.len=1;
    //	q.push(start);
    	q.push({x,y,0});
    	visit[x][y]=1;//手动给标记
    	while( !q.empty() )
    	{
    		gz now=q.front();//获取队头
    		q.pop();
    		for(int i=0; i<4; i++)
    		{
    			int tx=now.x+dir[i][0],ty=now.y+dir[i][1];
    			if(tx>0&&tx<=n&&ty>0&&ty<=m&&visit[tx][ty]==0&&a[tx][ty]!='#')
    			{
    //				cout<<"log tx ty:"<<tx<<" "<<ty<<endl;
    				if(a[tx][ty]=='T')
    				{
    					cout<<now.len+1<<endl;
    					return;
    				}
    				q.push({tx,ty,now.len+1});
    				visit[tx][ty]=1;
    			}
    		}
    	}
    }
    int main()
    {
    	cin>>n>>m;
    	for(int i=1; i<=n; i++)
    	{
    		for(int j=1; j<=m; j++)
    		{
    			cin>>a[i][j];
    		}
    	}
    	for(int i=1; i<=n; i++)
    	{
    		for(int j=1; j<=m; j++)
    		{
    			if(a[i][j]=='S')
    			{
    				bfs(i,j);
    			}
    		}
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    

    bfs走迷宫

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    int n,m;
    int dir[4][2]= {1,0,0,1,-1,0,0,-1};
    char a[105][105];
    bool visit[105][105];
    struct gz
    {
    	int x,y;
    	int len;
    };
    void bfs()
    {
    	//队列里面一般只看 队头队尾
    	queue<gz>q;
    	gz start;
    //	start.x=1;start.y=1;start.len=1;
    //	q.push(start);
    	q.push({1,1,1});
    	visit[1][1]=1;//手动给标记
    	while( !q.empty() )
    	{
    		gz now=q.front();//获取队头
    		q.pop();
    		for(int i=0; i<4; i++)
    		{
    			int tx=now.x+dir[i][0],ty=now.y+dir[i][1];
    			if(tx>0&&tx<=n&&ty>0&&ty<=m&&visit[tx][ty]==0&&a[tx][ty]=='.')
    			{
    				if(tx==n&&ty==m)
    				{
    					cout<<now.len+1<<endl;
    					return;
    				}
    				q.push({tx,ty,now.len+1});
    				visit[tx][ty]=1;
    			}
    		}
    	}
    }
    int main()
    {
    	cin>>n>>m;
    	for(int i=1; i<=n; i++)
    	{
    		for(int j=1; j<=m; j++)
    		{
    			cin>>a[i][j];
    		}
    	}
    	bfs();
    	return 0;
    }
    

    dfs数池塘(四方向)

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    int n,m,ans=0;
    char a[105][105];
    int dir[4][2]= {0,1,1,0,0,-1,-1,0};
    
    //每一次 迈一步试一试看看能不能走
    void dfs(int x,int y)
    {
    	for(int i=0; i<4; i++)
    	{
    		int tx,ty;
    		tx=x+dir[i][0];
    		ty=y+dir[i][1];
    		if(tx>=1 && tx<=n && ty>=1 && ty<=m && a[tx][ty]=='W')
    		{
    			a[tx][ty]='.';
    			dfs(tx,ty);
    		}
    	}
    
    }
    int main()
    {
    	cin>>n>>m;
    	for(int i=1; i<=n; i++)
    	{
    		for(int j=1; j<=m; j++)
    		{
    			cin>>a[i][j];
    		}
    	}
    	for(int i=1; i<=n; i++)
    	{
    		for(int j=1; j<=m; j++)
    		{
    
    			if(a[i][j]=='W')
    			{
    				ans++;
    				a[i][j]='.';
    				dfs(i,j);
    			}
    		}
    	}
    	cout<<ans;
    	return 0;
    }
    

    Technoblade Never dies!!!

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    int main()
    {
    	cout<<"Technoblade Never dies!!!"<<endl;
    	return 0;
    }
    

    高精度加法

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    string a,b;
    int c[10005],d[10005],e[10005],f,g,h,k,l,m;
    int main()
    {
    	cin>>a>>b;
    	f=a.length();
    	g=b.length();
    	for(int i=0;i<f;i++)
    	{
    		c[i]=a[f-i-1]-48;
    	}
    	for(int i=0;i<g;i++)
    	{
    		d[i]=b[g-i-1]-48;
    	}
    	for(int i=0;i<max(f,g);i++)
    	{
    		e[i]+=c[i]+d[i];
    		if(e[i]>=10)
    		{
    			e[i+1]+=1;
    			e[i]-=10;
    		}
    	}
    	if(e[max(f,g)]!=0)
    	{
    		cout<<e[max(f,g)];
    	}
    	for(int i=max(f,g)-1;i>=0;i--)
    	{
    		cout<<e[i];
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    

    高精度减法

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    string a,b;
    int l1,l2,c[10005],x;
    int main()
    {
    	cin>>a>>b;
    	a='0'+a;
    	b='0'+b;
    	if(a.size()<b.size()||(a.size()==b.size()&&a<b))
    	{
    		cout<<'-';
    		swap(a,b);
    	}
    	l1=a.size();
    	l2=b.size();
    	while(l2<l1)
    	{
    		b='0'+b;
    		l2++;
    	}
    	for(int i=1; i<l1; i++)
    	{
    		c[i]=a[i]-b[i];
    	}
    	while(1)
    	{
    		x=1;
    		for(int i=1; i<l1; i++)
    		{
    			if(c[i]<0)
    			{
    				c[i-1]--;
    				c[i]=10+c[i];
    				x=0;
    			}
    		}
    		if(x)
    		{
    			break;
    		}
    	}
    	x=1;
    	for(int i=1; i<l1; i++)
    	{
    		if(c[i]!=0)
    		{
    			x=0;
    		}
    		if(x==0)
    		{
    			cout<<c[i];
    		}
    	}
    	if(x==1)
    	{
    		cout<<0;
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    

    高精度乘法

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    string a,b;
    const int N=1e5+10;
    int c[N],d[N],e[N];
    int main()
    {
    	cin>>a>>b;
    	int len1,len2,len;
    	len1=a.size();
    	for(int i=len1-1,j=1;i>=0;i--,j++)
    	{
    		c[j]=a[i]-'0';
    	}
    	len2=b.size();
    	for(int i=len2-1,j=1;i>=0;i--,j++)
    	{
    		d[j]=b[i]-'0';
    	}
    	len=len1+len2;
    	for(int i=1;i<=len1;i++)
    	{
    		for(int j=1;j<=len2;j++)
    		{
    			e[i+j-1]=e[i+j-1]+c[i]*d[j];
    			e[i+j]=e[i+j]+e[i+j-1]/10;
    			e[i+j-1]=e[i+j-1]%10;
    		}
    	}
    	while(e[len]==0&&len>1)
    	{
    		len--;
    	}
    	for(int i=len;i>=1;i--)
    	{
    		cout<<e[i];
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    

    高精度除法(洛谷上的题解)

    #include<cstdio>
    #include<cstring>
    #include<cmath>
    #define inline __inline__ __attribute__((always_inline))
    #define L 524288
    #define mod 998244353
    typedef long long LL;
    
    int rev[L<<1];
    
    namespace NTT
    {
    	int W[2][L],_i[20],invtmp[L],x[L],y[L];
    	inline int invx(int x)
    	{
    		int r=1;
    		for(x%=mod; x>1; x=mod%x)r=LL(mod-mod/x)*r%mod;
    		return r;
    	}
    	inline int ksm(LL a,LL b)
    	{
    		int r=1;
    		for(; b; a=a*a%mod,b>>=1)if(b&1)r=r*a%mod;
    		return r;
    	}
    	void NTT_Init()
    	{
    		int i,t;
    		const int G = 3,Gi = invx(G),i2 = invx(2),l = L>>1;
    		t = ksm(G,mod/L), W[0][l] = 1;
    		for(i=1; i<l; i++)W[0][i+l] = (LL)W[0][i+l-1]*t%mod;
    		for(i=l-1; i; i--)W[0][i] = W[0][i<<1];
    		t = ksm(Gi,mod/L), W[1][l] = 1;
    		for(i=1; i<l; i++)W[1][i+l] = (LL)W[1][i+l-1]*t%mod;
    		for(i=l-1; i; i--)W[1][i] = W[1][i<<1];
    		for(_i[0]=i=1; i<20; i++)_i[i] = (LL)_i[i-1]*i2%mod;
    	}
    	void NTT(int *f,int len,int sign)
    	{
    		int i = 1,j,k,*w,*p,*q,t;
    		sign = (sign < 0);
    		for(int *r=rev+len+1; i<len; i++,r++)if(i<(k=*r))t=f[i],f[i]=f[k],f[k]=t;
    		for(i=1; i<len; i<<=1)for(j=0; j<len; j+=i<<1)for(w=W[sign]+i,q=(p=f+j)+i,k=0; k<i; k++)
    				{
    					t=*q*LL(*w++)%mod;
    					if((*q=*p-t)<0)
    					{
    						*q+=mod;
    					}
    					if((*p+=t)>=mod)
    					{
    						*p-=mod;
    					}
    					p++,q++;
    				}
    		if(sign)for(k=_i[__builtin_ctz(len)],i=0; i<len; i++)f[i] = (LL)k*f[i]%mod;
    	}
    	void poly_inv(int *a,int len,int *f)
    	{
    		int l,l2,i;
    		len <<= 1;
    		memset(f,0,len<<2), memset(invtmp,0,len<<2);
    		for(f[0]=invx(a[0]),l=2,l2=4; l<len; l<<=1,l2<<=1)
    		{
    			memcpy(invtmp,a,l<<2), NTT(invtmp,l2,1), NTT(f,l2,1);
    			for(i=0; i<l2; i++)f[i] = f[i]*(2-(LL)invtmp[i]*f[i]%mod+mod)%mod;
    			NTT(f,l2,-1), memset(f+l,0,l<<2);
    		}
    	}
    	void getout(char *s,int d)
    	{
    		int i,l;
    		NTT_Init();
    		for(i=0; i<d; i++)x[i] = s[i];
    		for(l=1; l<d; l<<=1);
    		poly_inv(x,l,y);
    		for(i=0; i<d; i++)printf("%d ",y[i]);
    	}
    }
    
    struct complex
    {
    	double a,b;
    	inline void operator+=(const complex &z)
    	{
    		a += z.a, b += z.b;
    	}
    	inline complex operator-(const complex &z)
    	{
    		return {a-z.a,b-z.b};
    	}
    	inline complex operator*(const complex &z)
    	{
    		return {a*z.a-b*z.b,a*z.b+b*z.a};
    	}
    } W[2][L];
    void FFT_Init()
    {
    	int i,j;
    	const int l = L>>1;
    	const double pi = acos(-1);
    	for(i=j=1; j<L; j<<=1)for(; i<j<<1; i++)rev[i<<1]=rev[i],rev[i<<1|1]=rev[i]+j;
    	for(i=0; i<l; i++)W[0][i+l] = {cos(pi*i/l),sin(pi*i/l)};
    	for(i=l-1; i; i--)W[0][i] = W[0][i<<1];
    	memcpy(W[1],W[0],sizeof W[1]);
    	for(i=1; i<L; i++)W[1][i].b *= -1;
    }
    void FFT(complex *f,int len,int sign)
    {
    	int i = 1,j,k;
    	complex *p,*q,*w,t;
    	sign = (sign < 0);
    	for(int *r=rev+len+1; i<len; i++,r++)if(i<(k=*r))t=f[i],f[i]=f[k],f[k]=t;
    	for(i=1; i<len; i<<=1)for(j=0; j<len; j+=i,j+=i)
    			for(q=(p=f+j)+i,w=W[sign]+i,k=0; k<i; k++,p++,q++)t=*q**w++,*q=*p-t,*p+=t;
    	if(sign)
    	{
    		double p=1./len;
    		for(i=0; i<len; i++,f++)f->a *= p, f->b *= p;
    	}
    }
    int get(char *s)
    {
    	int c,l = 0;
    	do c = getchar();
    	while(c < '1' || c > '9');
    	do *s++ = char(c^48), l++, c = getchar();
    	while(c >= '0' && c <= '9');
    	return l;
    }
    char a[L],b[L],bi[L],x[L],y[L];
    complex t1[L],t2[L];
    LL t3[L+1];
    void majutsu(int len)
    {
    	bool g = 1;
    	int l = 16,l2 = 32,l4 = 64,i;
    	long double d = 0,e = 1;
    	for(i=0; i<20; i++)d = d+e*b[i], e *= 0.1;
    	d = 10./d;
    	if(d < 10)
    	{
    		for(i=0; i<=l; i++)bi[i] = d, d = (d-bi[i])*10;
    		bi[l-1] += (bi[l] > 4);
    	}
    	else bi[0] = 10;
    	while(l < len)
    	{
    p:
    		memset(t1,0,sizeof(complex)*l4);
    		memset(t2,0,sizeof(complex)*l4);
    		for(i=0; i<l2; i++)t1[i].a = b[i];
    		for(i=0; i<l; i++)t2[i].a = bi[i];
    		FFT(t1,l4,1), FFT(t2,l4,1);
    		for(i=0; i<l4; i++)
    		{
    			t1[i] = t1[i]*t2[i];
    			t1[i].a = 20-t1[i].a, t1[i].b = -t1[i].b;
    			t2[i] = t1[i]*t2[i];
    		}
    		FFT(t2,l4,-1);
    		t3[l4] = 0;
    		for(i=l4-1; i>=0; i--)
    		{
    			t3[i] = LL(floor(t2[i].a+0.5))+t3[i+1]/10, t3[i+1] %= 10;
    			if(t3[i+1] < 0)t3[i+1] += 10, t3[i]--;
    		}
    		if(t3[0] > 9)
    		{
    			bi[0] = t3[0]/10, t3[0] %= 10;
    			for(i=1; i<l2; i++)bi[i] = t3[i-1];
    			bi[l2-1] += (t3[l2-1] > 4);
    		}
    		else
    		{
    			for(i=0; i<l2; i++)bi[i] = t3[i];
    			bi[l2-1] += (t3[l2] > 4);
    		}
    		l <<= 1, l2 <<= 1, l4 <<= 1;
    	}
    	if(g)
    	{
    		g = 0, l >>= 1, l2 >>= 1, l4 >>= 1;
    		goto p;
    	}
    	int divide(int n,int m)
    	{
    		int p = n-m+16,l,i;
    		majutsu(p);
    		for(l=1; l<n+p; l<<=1);
    		memset(t1,0,sizeof(complex)*l);
    		memset(t2,0,sizeof(complex)*l);
    		for(i=0; i<n; i++)t1[i].a = a[i];
    		for(i=0; i<p; i++)t2[i].a = bi[i];
    		FFT(t1,l,1), FFT(t2,l,1);
    		for(i=0; i<l; i++)t1[i] = t1[i]*t2[i];
    		FFT(t1,l,-1);
    		t3[l] = 0;
    		for(i=l-1; i>=0; i--)t3[i] = LL(t1[i].a+0.5)+t3[i+1]/10, t3[i+1] %= 10;
    		if(t3[0] > 9)
    		{
    			x[0] = t3[0]/10, t3[0] %= 10, l = n-m+1;
    			for(i=0; i<n-m; i++)x[i+1] = t3[i];
    		}
    		else for(l=n-m,i=0; i<n-m; i++)x[i] = t3[i];
    		return l;
    	}
    	void lack(int n,int m,int &d)
    	{
    		int l,i,j;
    		char t;
    		LL tl = 0;
    		for(i=0,j=n-1; i<j; i++,j--)t = a[i], a[i] = a[j], a[j] = t;
    		for(i=0,j=m-1; i<j; i++,j--)t = b[i], b[i] = b[j], b[j] = t;
    		for(i=0,j=d-1; i<j; i++,j--)t = x[i], x[i] = x[j], x[j] = t;
    		for(l=1; l<n; l<<=1);
    		memset(t1,0,sizeof(complex)*l);
    		memset(t2,0,sizeof(complex)*l);
    		for(i=0; i<m; i++)t1[i].a = b[i];
    		for(i=0; i<d; i++)t2[i].a = x[i];
    		t2[0].a += 1.;
    		FFT(t1,l,1), FFT(t2,l,1);
    		for(i=0; i<l; i++)t1[i] = t1[i]*t2[i];
    		FFT(t1,l,-1);
    		for(i=0; i<=n; i++)tl += LL(t1[i].a+0.5), y[i] = tl%10, tl /= 10;
    		for(i=n; i>=0; i--)
    		{
    			if(y[i] > a[i])return;
    			else if(y[i] < a[i])break;
    		}
    		for(x[0]++,i=0; x[i]>9; i++)x[i+1] += x[i]/10, x[i] %= 10;
    		if(x[d])d++;
    	}
    	int main()
    	{
    		int n,m,d;
    		FFT_Init();
    		n = get(a), m = get(b);
    		d = divide(n,m);
    		lack(n,m,d);
    		NTT::getout(x,d);
    		return 0;
    	}
    

    文件读写

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    using namespace std;
    int main()
    {
    	freopen("1.cpp","r",stdin);
    	freopen("1.cpp","w",stdout);
    	return 0;
    }
    

    学人精(另一个人的,反正我是玩不懂)

    #include<bits/stdc++.h>
    #include<windows.h>
    #include<conio.h>
    using namespace std;
    string s;
    int main(){
    	system("color a");
    	srand(time(0));
    	while(true){
    		char ch=getch();
    		Sleep(rand()%50+100);
    		if(ch==13) cout<<"\n",s+="\n";
    		else if(ch==8){
    			if(s.length()==0) continue;
    			system("cls");
    			if(s[s.length()-1]>=0) s=s.substr(0,s.length()-1);
    			else s=s.substr(0,s.length()-2);
    			cout<<s;
    		}else cout<<ch,s+=ch;
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    

    恶搞(你的屏幕上有一根狼毛) 右击屏幕,点击检查, 点击控制台(Console), 复制下面这段代码, 你的屏幕上就会出现一根狼毛,

    !function()
    {
    var bottom = Math.floor(60 * Math.random()),
    right = Math.floor(50 * Math.random()),
    rotate = Math.floor(360 * Math.random());
    var foolsEgg = document.createElement("img");
    foolsEgg.src = "https://cdn.luogu.com.cn/upload/image_hosting/vx05je3j.png";
    foolsEgg.style.position = "fixed";
    foolsEgg.style.bottom = "".concat(bottom, "%");
    foolsEgg.style.right = "".concat(right, "%");
    foolsEgg.style.zIndex = "9999";
    foolsEgg.style.pointerEvents = "none";
    foolsEgg.style.width = "40%";
    foolsEgg.style.maxWidth = "190px";
    foolsEgg.style.transform = "".concat("rotate(", rotate, "deg)");
    document.body.append(foolsEgg);
    } ();
    

    https://cdn.luogu.com.cn/upload/image_hosting/vx05je3j.png

    这是狼毛图片,你也可以换成你自己的图片。

    放在朋友的电脑上非常不错

    可以当一个小内饰

    一个好东西


    亿些好东西

    被抓腐一律不负责

    一个小圆圈

    又一个小圆圈

    抖音

    bilibili

    人生重开模拟器

    生命游戏

    c++游戏(有时用不了)


    再强调一遍,看的时候被抓腐一律不负责


    魔鬼:我可以实现你三个愿望,然后我就杀了你

    程序员:请实现我第二个愿望

    程序员:请实现我第一个愿望

    魔鬼.exe 已停止运行


    “放弃”二字15笔,

    “胜利”二字16笔,

    有时候可能就差那么一点点

    “猝死”十七笔,不要努力过头


    CCF大会上,发言人说:

    首先,我们要把下一次NOIP的电脑涂成粉色,其次,要把骂ccf的人禁赛三年

    下面有个人说:为什么要把电脑涂成粉色?

    发言人说,看来没有人对第二个有疑问。


    一位洗碗的大姐,经常被别人叫阿姨,她嫌弃阿姨不好听,就给自己取了一个特别牛的名字:瓷洗太后. 隔壁补胎的师傅受到启发,给自己取了一个国际范的名字:拿破轮。电焊工听到,受到启发,也给自己取了 一个名字:焊武帝。一日电焊工去糖果店炫 耀自己的名字,老板叫他看他的名字:糖太宗。电焊工看了沉默了。这是一辆粪车路 过,发写这三个大字:擒屎皇。路边捆菜的 阿姨行不下去了,叫到你们的名字算什么? 看看我的名字,众人一看这名字取得不一 般,大喊到捆菜阿姨的名字:菜需捆!!! 从此,镇上工作的人,再也没有互相比过名字。


    How old are you?怎么老是你

    You didadida me, I hualahuala you - 滴水之恩,当涌泉相报

    hand chicken - 手机(手 鸡)

    One car come,one car go,two car boom boom one car died. - 一场车祸

    Some people go in bank with ak47 and biubiubiu,and people said a~a~a~ and died,and some white car sound wiwu~wiwu~ and let them go to the police office - 一次银行抢劫


    初墨,多么优雅的名字——可惜他姓熊。

    拔杰,多么高端的名字——可惜他姓朱。

    渔歌,多么诗意的名字——可惜他姓章。

    楚衢(qu二声),多么凝重的名字——可惜他姓滚。

    巅峰,多么上进的名字——可惜他姓杨。

    紫藤,多么大气的名字——可惜他姓杜。

    晶斌,多么文静的名字——可惜他姓沈。

    泥马,多么深奥的名字——可惜他姓曹。

    珍香,多么秀丽的名字——可惜他姓史。

    达野,多么磅礴的名字——可惜他姓尼。

    仁范,多么仁慈的名字——可惜他姓沙。


    老师:xx你这学期的诗都背完了没

    xx:是的

    老师:那我得好好考考你

    xx:okok

    老师:山穷水复疑无路

    xx:方天画戟捅义父(​柳暗花明又一村)

    老师:垂死病中惊坐起

    xx:吃席麻烦先随礼(暗风吹雨入寒窗)

    老师:但使龙城飞将在

    xx:Come on baby don't be shy.(不教胡马度阴山)

    老师:巴山楚水凄凉地

    xx:蜜雪冰城甜蜜蜜(二十三年弃置身)

    老师:问君能有几多愁

    xx:累了困了喝红牛(恰似一江春水向东流)

    老师:大风起兮云飞扬

    xx:意大利炮轰他娘(威加海内兮归故乡)

    老师:清明时节雨纷纷

    xx:唱跳rap蔡徐坤(路上行人欲断魂)

    老师:远赴人间惊鸿宴

    xx:大声点我听不见(谈笑风生不动情)

    老师:少小离家老大回

    xx:菊花变成向日葵(乡音无改鬓毛衰)

    老师:后宫佳丽三千人

    xx:铁杵也能磨成针(三千宠爱在一身——出自白居易的《长恨歌》,很不错的)

    老师:老骥伏枥,志在千里

    xx:横扫饥饿,做回自己(烈士暮年,壮心不已)


    开学了,同学们要注意自己的遗容遗表,在学校记得穿孝服,不得穿着过于冥显的奇装异服,下课拿自己的水碑接水,跑操注意跟上阴乐,下午的阎保健操已经纳入检查范围,上课灵声响了要安静下来,同学们之间要合墓相处,在孝期间不要躺平,争作仙疯。


    当对方陈述观点时,无论观点对错,说“典”

    当对方支持自己不支持的人或事时,说“孝”

    当对方辩论,或是开始细致解说时,说“急”

    当自己难以理解对方表达的观点时,说“乐”

    当对方要求你表达不存在的观点时,说“蚌”

    当对方产生足以称为立场的观点时,说“批”

    当自己说出自认为一针见血的话时,说“赢”

    当无法对对方言论进行有效反驳时,说“麻”


    有人在学校欺你怎么办?“ 俄罗斯小女孩:“那我拿铲子呼他的脸。” “不行,你是女孩子。” 俄罗斯小女孩:“那我拿粉红色的铲子呼他的脸。”


    柳宗元被逮了,在狱中遇到了李白,

    问因何入狱? 李说:“造谣罪,飞流直下三千尺,人家量了,没那么长”。

    柳说:“彼此彼此,我说了句:千山鸟飞绝,有人举报树上还有一只”。

    正感叹时,杜牧进来了,大家忙问:你是怎么进来的?

    杜牧说:“唉,涉嫌作风问题。”

    大伙异口同声的说:"是不是停车坐爱枫林晚",

    杜说:是,说老子涉嫌车震!

    这时,陆游也骂骂咧咧地进来了,大家忙问:“你是为何?”

    陆游道:我写了句“勿言牛老行苦迟,我今八十耕犹力”。

    说俺八十岁还想要包二奶。

    这时,李清照被收监路过,众人惊问,弱女子怎么了?

    答曰:“常记溪亭日暮,沉醉不知归路。”涉嫌酒驾拘留。

    众人皆叹。苏轼推门而入,大家纳闷:"你又何事"?

    苏轼叹:"涉黄,我只不过写了句:“横看成岭侧成峰,远近高低各不同。”

    他们说我偷看女人,动机不纯,什么世道!


    文理之战

    物理VS政治

    “好久不见,政治。”物理微笑道。政治依然是那副波澜不惊的神色,眼底幽寂,深不可测。

    他一步步地走向了政治:“身为文综最强的你,是唯一有资格成为我对手的学科。”政治从容不迫地回答道:“阁下谬赞了。”声音低沉如故。

    物理只觉得恶心。

    政治生着一张永远年轻的脸孔,尽管这张脸会随着岁月的变迁而改变样貌,却从未被岁月划下一丝皱纹。 他习惯摆出一副沉稳谦逊的模样,可物理清楚,这个不老不死的诡异学科内里是如何老奸巨猾。 一枚硬币从物理手中脱离,完成了一次完美的自由落体运动,恰恰落在二人直线距离的中央。“正面,我先出手。”

    物理毫不客气地公布结果。政治微眯凤眸,唇角,是一丝不易察觉的弧度。

    “力改变物体的运动状态!”

    物理向一个特殊的角度有力地喝道,声波触碰到了摆在空间中的石膏几何体,大大小小的几何体忽然开始缓缓地匀速直线运动起来。

    “加速度正向递增。”物理双手一挥,几何体旋即向政治的方向迅速撞去。 政治的脸上没有丝毫惧色。

    “爱国敬业诚信友善,富强民主文明和谐。”两道防护墙凭空腾起,挡住了石膏几何体的攻击。

    “马克思主义哲学为具体科学的研究提供正确的世界观和方法论!” 刹那间,两道防护墙幻化成利刃向物理刺去。物理敏捷一闪躲过了攻击,两道利刃却穷追不舍 。物理暗骂道:“该死的,竟然这么快就就启用必修四!”

    “理想条件下物体总保持静止或匀速直线运动!”两道利刃的速度依旧迅猛,但不再改变追击方向和加速度。物理灵巧地改变逃跑方向:“视重为零时,物体完全失重!”两道利刃撞在了一道顺空而起的墙上,哐当跌落在地。

    “价格围绕价值上下波动!” 两道利刃忽然如同活了起来般,腾空而起向物理疯狂袭击,物理还没来得及躲避便被利刃划伤了背部。

    “贫富差距影响社会总体消费水平。” 两道利刃左右相逼,物理的身上又新添了两道伤。 该死的,这不行!再被他划两道游戏就结束了! 于是物理大声喊道:“初速度等于末速度减去加速度与时间之积!”奇迹出现了,两道利刃的主动权迅速转移到了物理的手中,“量不够,a来凑!”利刃改变运动方向,转而向政治刺去。 政治的眼底忽然闪过了一丝涟漪,但又迅速恢复了平静。

    “国家应以经济建设为中心,大力发展生产力。”两道利刃蓦然静止。

    “AABCD。”

    物理猛然诧异。他完全没有想过,政治会使用选择题答案作弊。几何体,防护墙,利刃,统统幻灭为了尘埃。

    ……

    物理举起了双手。

    政治满意地笑了。“果然,你永远都是笑到最后的赢家。”物理不甘地看着他。

    当政治转身的一瞬间,物理冷冷地道:“AC DB AB DD AD ABCD”

    政治的背后迅速被划下五道裂痕。

    “别忘了,物理选择题的分值比政治多得多。”


    一群伟大的科学家死后在天堂里玩藏猫猫, 轮到爱因斯坦抓人,他数到100睁开眼睛,看到所有人都藏起来了,只见伏特趴在不远处。 爱因斯坦走过去说:“伏特,我抓住你了。” 伏特说:“不,你没有抓到我。” 爱因斯坦:“你不是伏特你是谁?” 伏特:“你看我身下是什么?” 爱因斯坦低头看到在伏特身下,居然是安培! 伏特:“我身下是安培,我俩就是伏特/安培,所以你抓住的不是我,你抓住的是欧姆! .” 爱因斯坦反应迅速,于是改口喊,“欧姆,我抓住你了!” 说时迟那时快,伏特和安培一个鱼跃站了起来,但是仍然紧紧抱在一起, 爱因斯坦大惑~ 他俩不紧不慢地说,现在,我们不再是欧姆,而是伏特×安培, 变成瓦特了~ 爱因斯坦觉得有道理,于是喊,那我终于抓到你了,瓦特! 这时候,安培慢慢悠悠地说:“你看我俩这样抱着已经有好几秒了,所以,我们不再是瓦特,而是瓦特×秒, 我们现在是焦耳啦~” 爱因斯坦被说的哑口无言,于是默默地转过身,这时,他看到牛顿站在不远处,爱因斯坦于是跑过去说:“牛顿,我抓住你了。” 牛顿:“不,你没有抓到牛顿。” 爱因斯坦:“你不是牛顿你是谁?” 牛顿:“你看我脚下是什么?” 爱因斯坦低头看到牛顿站在一块长宽都是一米的正方形的地板砖上,不解。 牛顿:“我脚下这是一平方米的方块,我站在上面就是牛顿/平方米,所以你抓住的不是牛顿,你抓住的是帕斯卡” 爱因斯坦倍受挫折,终于忍无可忍地爆发了,于是飞起一脚,踹在牛顿身上,把牛顿踹出了那块一平米的地板砖, 然后吼到:“说!你还敢说你是帕斯卡???” 牛顿慢慢地从地上爬起来,说:“不,我已经不是帕斯卡了,你刚刚让我牛顿移动了一米的距离,所以,我现在也是焦耳了”


    近日,洛谷网络科技有限公司多位用户家长向 @kkksc03 反映,部分算法存在血腥、暴力等不利于青少年儿童的因素出现,要求对相关算法进行整改或被删除。

    洛谷网络科技有限公司题目组管理员在接受采访时说道,在最近几天内,洛谷收到了数十条家长来信,声称网站教授的部分算法存在“血腥”、“暴力”等内容。“他们说这些东西会教坏他们家的孩子,要求我们整改这些算法,把这些对小朋友不太好的东西删掉,或者直接把算法删除。”

    随着国庆 (雾) 的到来,很多家长直接来到洛谷反映情况。记者在现场随机采访了几位家长,询问他们对这些算法的看法。

    刘女士的儿子正在洛谷学习普及组内容。在采访中刘女士告诉记者,希望洛谷停开匈牙利算法。“我看里面讲的都是些一一匹配啊、二分图啊之类的匹配问题,这不是教孩子怎么找npy么?那他以后岂不是学会早恋了?”王先生也有类似的想法。他要求洛谷整改月赛内容。“听说课程里面有‘选妹子’,要是小朋友被女拳打了该怎么办?太危险了!”

    认为数据结构太危险、容易伤到孩子,是很多家长的共同心声。王大爷今年已经六十多岁了,却依然专程跑到学校,高呼停止教授Splay树和Treap树。他说,自家的孙子很小的时候撞到树上过,他担心这两棵树会给孩子造成心理阴影。

    此外,最大流、费用流等算法也遭到了部分家长的抵制。“主要还是玩水安全嘛”,陈女士说,“孩子们看到这些流啊、流量啊、回家就很可能会下水去游泳,我们当家长的还是不放心嘛。”而张先生的态度则更为坚决:“现在就敢玩水,将来敢玩什么,我都不敢想了!”

    同样作为算法,《深入浅出程序设计竞赛》受到抵制的理由则有很大不同。吴先生告诉记者:“主要是,这个(深入浅出程序设计竞赛的教材)太厚了,得有好几斤重,网上小孩子如果嬉戏打闹,拿着这本书到处乱甩(的话),非常危险。要是碰到头的话,那肯定会把头磕破的,你说这个责任由谁来承担?”

    在众多算法中,家长抵制呼声最高的则是图论算法。在家长看来,有的算法要找环,会绕晕到孩子;画图用的笔可能会戳伤手指;很多算法在搜索的时候可能会把系统栈用爆;有些算法写错了要输中量参解改很久,可能会累到小朋友,“把我家小孩累死了该怎么办?”

    除了担心孩子们的安全外,对孩子生活习惯的影响也成为了家长们抵制课程的要素之一。叶女士告诉记者,她希望洛谷整改全部英语题面。叶女士的儿子才考普及组,却已经学会了sh*t,f**k等高级词汇。“孩子现在出口就是这种词,影响很不好,肯定是洛谷的题面教的。”叶女士说。

    同样,李先生对于洛谷的bfs, dfs, bdfs算法也颇有微词。“我们还是想给孩子营造一个健康的成长环境嘛,我看课上,居然让小朋友们去暴力遍历图啊、暴力找答案啊,这不是教小朋友们暴力么?平时打打杀杀的动画片我都不让自家小孩看,更不要说动手去做这些了。”

    此外,一些非盈利机构也遭到了家长的抵制。很多家长认为,玩电脑是影响自家小孩学习的关键原因,因此强烈要求洛谷取缔 F ,并取消相关竞赛。 N​**P 首当其冲,周先生接受采访时说道:“听说这门课要学生们自己学习算法,要是真把算法学好了,不就会有更多小朋友沉迷电脑么?如果他们不学算法的话,我们的小孩就不会这么贪玩电脑了。”同样,一些家长也对浏览器表示不满:“没有浏览器,小朋友们自然就不会沉迷上网了。​”

    让记者感到惊奇的是,很多家长对一些计算机基础数学内容也有较大的意见。部分家长要求下架《组合数学》 《混凝土数学》等课程。在问及原因时,家长告诉记者,文中的感叹号很像一根棍子,会引发小朋友的暴力倾向。

    针对此事,记者尝试联络洛谷网络科技有限公司的管理员。管理员回复称,@kkksc03 校长正在忙于建设世界一流 OJ,暂未就此事件给予答复。

    不过,也有少数家长对一些算法表示支持。一位家长告诉记者,希望学校着力建设《编程语言基础》课程。“孩子如果在学校学好语言这些东西的话,回让他搬砖的时候应该能更好一些。”


    “根据最新消息,敌军摧毁了第 45 号、171 号据点,我军依然顽强抗争,修复了据点 37、98。现在可以反攻吗?”

    “不可以,总司令。”

    “敌军摧毁了第 33 号据点到 42 号据点的虫洞,现在可以反攻吗?”

    “不可以,总司令。”

    “我方修复了第 42 号据点,可以反攻吗?”

    “不可以,总司令。”

    “我方……”

    “不可以,总司令。”

    “同志,你只是一直在回答‘不可以’吗?你到底有没有好好判断形势?现在是关乎国家危亡的时刻……”

    “总司令,您知道我不太聪明,没找到快速而正确地计算出结果的办法,但是据某项统计,我一直回答 NO 的话,在一次战役中判断完全正确的概率是 45%。”

    “那……”

    “不可以,总司令。”


    问:在武侠世界里开一家客栈要注意什么?

    答:墙上贴上字——要打出去打

    问:为什么求婚都是单膝下跪?

    答:双膝下跪是上坟

    问:世界上不会游泳的动物是什么

    答:媳妇和妈

    问:孙悟空头上的圈叫什么

    答:猴头菇

    问:乌龟一般能养多久

    答:那看你怎么养了,养好了,能送你走

    问:你看过的第一篇穿越文是什么

    答:桃花源记

    问:怎样一眼看出一个班级的经济实力

    答:看垃圾桶

    问:你看《我是歌手》吗?

    答:不是

    问:紫薇!紫薇!你看见我的紫薇了吗?

    答:你的嘴不长在你的脸上吗?

    问:你会在临死前留下什么遗言

    答:能不能换个医生试试,我总感觉我能活

    问:火车k是快,t是特快,z是什么意思

    答:贼快

    问:人生中有没有一件事,明知道失败的风险很大,有一万个理由放弃,但还是决定奋力一搏?

    答:有,交卷之前改答案……

    问:杨过和小龙女谈恋爱,神雕什么感受?

    答:神雕洗衣服去了……

    问:你觉得有史以来最伟大的虚构人物是谁

    答:别人家的孩子

    问:你家乡最美的景色是什么

    答:我。


    1、 面对法医的鉴定报告,王警官陷入沉默,思考了很久才开口对法医说:“你写的啥几把字?”

    2、 审讯室里,犯罪嫌疑人赵某对自己的罪行供认不讳。而经验丰富的王警官却觉得还没吓唬犯罪嫌疑人,他自己就招了,一定事有蹊跷。于是,他瞥了一眼赵某,突然大吼一声:“橙汁儿!!”

    3、 看完尸检报告,王警官表情凝重,深深吸了一口烟说道:“看来想要找到真凶不是 一件容易的事…因为死者已经隆胸有二十多年了…”

    4、 王警官像往常一样加班到深夜独自回家,半路被突然窜出来的一群人团团围住,并威胁他以后不要再掺手眼前这起由他负责的凶杀案。 而经验丰富的王警官对这种情况早就习以为常,他沉着冷静,呵呵一笑,还是毅然决然地拒绝了同事们的请求。

    5、 面对着眼前这个复杂的凶杀案卷宗,经验丰富的王警官深深吸了几口烟,突然间眉 头紧锁,然后熟练地用眉头把烟头夹灭。

    6、 经过一整晚的审讯,经验丰富的王警官收获颇丰,终于从犯罪嫌疑人郝某口中得之,他有三颗蛀牙和一处口腔溃疡。

    7、 王警官来到犯罪嫌疑人家中的时候已经是人去楼空。但经验丰富的他没有立即出去追赶,而是走到床边,摸了摸被子,发现被子还是热的。这才会心一笑,放心地钻进被窝,愉快的睡了起来。

    8、 虽然为了尽早破获这起棘手的案件,刑警大队已经几天几夜没有合眼,但还是没有什么进展。这时,幸好经验丰富的王警官及时出马,用他精彩的推理,使得大家睡了一个好觉。

    9、王警官与犯罪嫌疑人进行了长达两个多小时的周旋,最终,二人都被管理员赶下旋转木马。

    10、案发现场惨不忍睹,杀人凶手的手法极其残暴。经验不丰富的实习警员小李已经是双腿发软,因为第一次前来执行任务的他万万没有想到,还要负责背着吓晕的王警官。

    11、经验丰富的王警官咬了一口粽子,便立刻发觉味道不对!办案多年的他深知自己已与黑道势力结下怨恨,所以第一反应就是大事不妙,一定是自家的粽子会被人做了手脚。但他沉着冷静,仔细揣摩粽子味道的异常,终于发现其中的蹊跷,原来是吃的太着急忘了剥粽子叶。

    12、刑警大队的会议上,经验丰富的王警官对案件分析十分详尽,配合他自己精心制作的PPT,分别从犯罪嫌疑人的作案手法、作案动机以及犯罪现场的盘查取证与法医鉴定报告等多个方面,阐述了自己为什么破不了这个案子。

    13、起初,新来的年轻警员都不太理解,王警官去犯罪现场执行任务前为何总是会让助手帮他带上两个崭新的塑料袋。而经过几次合作以后才终于发现其中的端倪,原来是因为王警官晕车。

    14、为了能尽早得知凶手是谁,经验丰富的王警官加班后回到回家,都没顾得上休息一会儿,就又独自把自己关在书房里,迫不及待地看完了后半集的剧场版柯南。

    15、王警官第一时间赶到犯罪现场,但是经过仔细盘查,并没见到报案电话中群众所说的尸体。莫非是有人毁尸灭迹?王警官沉思片刻,便会心一笑,对同行的警员下令说:“给我追!尸体一定跑不远!”

    16、面对复杂的卷宗,经验丰富的王警官表情凝重,一连抽了几包烟,不时咳嗽。经验不丰富的实习警员小李看不过去前去劝阻。王警官解释道:“放心我没事,多年破案的老毛病…不抽烟就没有灵感…” 小李听后说:“虽然我经验没您丰富,但如果您真把我当朋友,就听我一句劝,别抽我的烟了行不?”

    17、经过了与犯罪嫌疑人长达一个晚上的审问,王警官说出了刑警大队所有的秘密。

    18、王警官与他饲养多年的警犬大壮配合十分默契,仅用半个小时不到,就把食堂的酱肘子吃的连骨头都不剩。

    19、王警官带领队员闯入犯罪嫌疑人家中,经验丰富的他直奔卧室,摸了摸被子对大说:“被窝还是热的!罪犯一定还没跑远!” 话音刚落,就吓得罪犯钻出了窝。

    20、面对歹徒手中的水果刀,经验丰富的王警官早有准备,从容地拿出了水果。

    21、面对法医的鉴定报告,王警官会心一笑:呵呵,果然和自己之前料想的一样,还是看不懂。

    22、正当案件一筹莫展之时,法医的鉴定报告及时送到。看过以后,经验丰富的王警官顿时觉得这起难解的凶杀案变得简单了不少,因为他认为,破案可起码比认出法医的字容易多了。

    23、王警官的儿子问他,老师让用成语坐井观天造句,怎么造?他笑着答道:“这还不简单么?爸爸做警官天天都很开心。

    24、闻听歹徒穷凶极恶,王警官坚持要带枪行动。但同行警员纷纷劝说他这样做容易暴露踪,最终王警官也只好作罢,不得不把祖传的红缨枪留办公室里。

    25、王警官接到一个非常棘手的案子,已经用光了三瓶护手霜。

    26、早晨,王警官来到刑警大队,发现门口墙上有人用红油漆写着:“王警官,我要弄死你!”而他深知自己办案多年,早与黑道势力结怨,便习以为常。也拿着油漆在墙上写上了“你个大傻逼!”五个字。于是,墙上变成了:“王警官,你个大傻逼我要弄死你!”

    27、经验丰富的王警官与经验不丰富的实习警员小李,虽然合作时间不长,但二人的 配合已经相当默契。就拿最近的这起凶杀案来说,他们仅用了不到两天时间,就同时选择了放弃。

    28、为了能尽快查出这起凶杀案的真凶,经验丰富的王警官考虑再三,决定赶紧退出不再掺手此案。

    29、经验丰富的王警官观察一番后说道:“门和窗都是从里面反锁的,而死者头破血流伤痕累累,显然不是自杀,所以,这无疑是一桩典型的密室杀人案!” 同行的几名年轻警员听完他的分析也是目瞪口呆,最后忍不住将他带离了车祸现场。

    30、经验丰富的王警官在执行任务时不幸腿部中枪。而当穷凶极恶的歹徒被捕时,他自己多年的职业素养告诉他,不要去记恨歹徒,谁让自己枪法不准打腿上了呢?

    31、向来配合默契的经验丰富的王警官与经验不丰富的实习警员小李却因观点不同发起了争执。王警官认为:死者虽然处于密闭环境,但身上缠有绷带,显然不是常规的密室杀人案,应该是受重伤之后又被人放置于密室之中。而小李却认为,王警官不应该在单位组织去埃及金字塔旅游时说这些有的没的。

    32、虽然罪犯显然是对案发现场进行过处理,但经过一番仔细勘察,经验丰富的王警官还是从一些蛛丝马迹上判断出,自己又去错了案发现场。

    33、火锅店杀人案现场,经验不丰富的实习警员小李在死者身上发现蒜泥的痕迹,他立即通知经验丰富的王警官,但王警官并没在意。小李深知北方火锅店吃蒜泥小料的人并不多,所以再次重申:“我说!蒜泥痕…”王警官一愣!似乎想到了什么,接道:“善…善用无辜的眼神,谎话说了两句你就当真?”

    34、我市刑警大队有两人离奇失踪,机智的王警官将单位改名为“刑警一阝”企图瞒天过海,令人佩服。

    35、王警官经过对凶案现场的盘查后说:“你们有没有发现,这个案子与两个月前朝阳区ktv包厢密室杀人案和一周前东城区 电子厂跳楼案以及三天前的海淀区出租房碎尸案有个惊人的共同点?” 年轻警员恍然大悟:“您的意思是说这是一个连环杀人案?” 王警官说:“不是,我的意思是说我都破不了。”


    ACM:赛前崩溃

    (坏了考ACM了不得完蛋)

    IOI:赛中崩溃

    (这题目是洛谷黑题被吧这么~坑~难)

    OI:赛后崩溃

    (RE一生之敌)

    神奇的评测结果 AC:啊这题目终于过了啊!

    WA:没逝,改亿下就……也不行

    TLE:这到底是什么个思路啊?!

    MLE:……算了

    CE:你知道为什么变量会重名吗,我不到哇

    RE:一定是我数组不够大,再逝亿次……

    PC:我怎么知道是那个地方错了!

    UKE:我真的谢谢你

    OLE:没复制正确是不存在的好吧

    AC=Answer Coarse=粗劣的答案

    WA=Wonderful Answer=好答案

    TLE=Time Limit Enough=时间充裕

    MLE=Memory Limit Enough=内存充裕

    CE=Compile Easily=轻松通过编译

    RE=Run Excellently=完美运行

    UKE=Unbelievably Keep Enough Score=难以置信地保持足够的分数

    AU=All Unaccepted=全都不正确


    《OI》 – 改编自朱自清《春》

    盼望着,盼望着,模拟赛来了,CSP的脚步近了。一切都像刚WA的样子,欣欣然重构代码。

    代码复杂度朗润起来了,时间复杂度涨起来了,CE的标志红起来了。毒瘤数据偷偷地从土里钻出来,嫩嫩的,绿绿的。洛谷里,CODE FORCE里,瞧去,一大片一大片满是的。坐着,躺着,写两个for,码几脚while,跑几趟dfs,搜几回暴力。TLE轻悄悄的,MLE软绵绵的。POJ、HDU、51nod,你不让我,我不让你,都开满了WA赶趟儿。红的像火,粉的像霞,白的像雪。WA里带着RE;闭了眼,评测界面仿佛已经满是UKE、RE、OLE、MLE、CE、WA。花下成千成百的蜜蜂嗡嗡地闹着,大小的蝴蝶飞来飞去。0分遍地是:杂样儿,DP没初始化的,数学公式写错的,散在评测机里,像眼睛,像星星,还眨呀眨的。

    “吹面不寒AK风”,不错的,像CCF主席的手抚摸着你。风里带来些新翻的AC的气息,混着打表味儿,还有各种骗分的香,都在微微润湿的AK里酝酿。模拟将巢安在长篇文章当中,高兴起来了,呼朋引伴地卖弄超过200行的代码,唱出宛转的AC音乐,与轻风流水应和着。IOI通过的短笛,这时候也成天嘹亮地响着。

    Debug是最寻常的,一调就是三两天。可别恼。看,像无限循环,像scanf不写&,像数组越界,密密地斜织着,人家exe上全笼着一层01串。大佬的评测却AC得发亮,蒟蒻的评测也青蛙得逼你的眼。傍晚时候,上灯了,一点点算法错误的光,烘托出一片数据结构用错的夜。在乡下,小路上,石桥边,有撑起伞慢慢走了1e18秒的人。还有地里工作的码农,披着电源戴着黑帽子的。他们的电脑,稀稀疏疏的在调试里静默着。

    天上AKNOI渐渐多了,地上AKIOI也多了。俄国中国,克罗地亚,波罗的海,也赶趟儿似的,一个个都出来了。AKAK CSP-J,AKAK CSP-S,各AK各的一份事去。“一年之计在于CSP”,刚起头儿,有的是爆零,有的是懵逼。


    《SPFA》 – 改编自鲁迅《孔乙己》

    SPFA是写最短路径而不用堆优化的唯一的人。

    他身材很高大;青白脸色,皱纹间时常夹些伤痕;

    一部乱蓬蓬的花白的胡子。穿的虽然是女装,可是又脏又破,似乎十多年没有补,也没有洗。

    他对人说话,总是满口O(kE),叫人半懂不懂的。

    因为他姓S,别人便从描红纸上的“Shortest Path Faster Algorithm”这半懂不懂的话里,替他取下一个绰号,叫作SPFA。

    SPFA一到机房,所有写代码的人便都看着他笑,有的叫道,“SPFA,你又TLE了!”

    他不回答,对我说,“打1e5个结点,要2e5条边。”便排出一条队列。

    他们又故意的高声嚷道,“你一定又被出题人卡了!”SPFA睁大眼睛说,“你怎么这样凭空污人清白……”

    “什么清白?我前天亲眼见你被出题人卡到O(nm),吊着打。”

    SPFA便涨红了脸,额上的青筋条条绽出,争辩道,“TLE不能算O(nm)……O(nm)!

    卡常数的事,能算O(nm)么?”接连便是难懂的话,什么“SPFA的复杂度是O(kE)”,什么“可以证明k一般小于等于2”之类。

    引得众人都哄笑起来;机房内外充满了快活的空气。

    现在,我已经一年没看见也没听别人说过SPFA,SPFA大抵是死了吧!


    暴力出奇迹,骗分过样例。

    数学先打表,DP看运气。

    穷举TLE,递推UKE。

    模拟MLE,贪心还CE。

    想要骗到分,就要有方法。

    图论背模板,数论背公式。

    动规背方程,高精背代码。

    如果都没背,干脆输样例。


    西江月夜行·oi农场

    AC别枝惊犇,CE半夜鸣蒟。

    电脑香里说疯年,听取WA声一片。

    七八个TLE,两三点MLE。

    旧时广搜满分边,路转RE忽见。


    过坤坤庄

    故人名坤坤,邀我至球场。

    中分头上疏,背带身上穿。

    开场先胯下,铁山靠运球。

    待到只因叫,还来你干嘛。


    《七律·考试》

    模拟只会猜题意,

    贪心只能过样例。

    数学上来先打表,

    DP一般看规律。

    组合数学靠运气,

    计算几何瞎暴力。

    图论一顿套模板,

    数论只会GCD。


    小白兔,白又白

    两只耳朵竖起来

    割完静脉割动脉

    一动不动最可爱

    扒了皮,剁了块

    放在锅里炒个菜

    加上水,盖上盖

    出锅之前撒香菜

    端个碗,拿双筷

    张起嘴来尝一块

    盐不咸,味不淡

    真是美味下酒菜


    按Windows建,查找并打开cmd.exe,输入shutdown/i,在输入与你有链接的计算机的名字,然后......(你知道的)